TALES FROM THE ROAD
A Day In The Life of Darl (kd's PA)
It's five to seven and my eyes are open though my body is still heavy from lack of sleep. As I try to recognise the unfamiliar surroundings of the hotel, the phone rings with my wake-up call and the back-up alarm buzzes loudly. It's now 7:00am and time to begin another day in the life of Darl and kd…
After a shower and a struggle to find whatever clean clothes I may still have hidden in my overnight bag, I dial kd's room "Yooo..I'm awake! What time do we leave?" It always amazes me how she is already so alert and very rarely caught still sleeping (though just one day I'd love to be ahead of her).
"We have a plane to catch, so meet me in the lobby in 30 minutes" I reply, not quite so enthusiastically.
I check out of the hotel and with kd meet the Warner Bros Artist Relations Rep in a car as we head to the airport. Kd and myself always allow ourselves minimal time, rejecting all unforeseen problems that may arise: traffic jams, accidents, bad weather - and this always brings sweat to the brow of the rep (though I secretly think that they too sway to our way of excitement!). Of course, we live like this all the time so it's never any sweat to us.
Final boarding has been announced when we arrive at the gate and we slowly saunter on board. We confidently take our assigned seats, much to the disgusted look on the airline hostess' face as we try to blend our casual blue-jean look with the suits in our first-class section.
Once the plane is in the air, we eagerly anticipate our pre-ordered vegetarian meals. The hostess approaches, smiling, with the food trolley. "Ham or sausage with your omelette?" she asks flatly. "No thanks", we respond hopefully, "we ordered vegetarian". "Oh, let's see … I'm sorry there seems to be some confusion. Your meals don't seem to have been ordered". Pause …"Um, could I interest you in some salad?"
Ugh not again .."But our travel agent always has our meals pre-ordered and .." I feel that familiar thump against my leg from you-know-who suggesting that I don't make a scene. "Okay, well how about a couple of bread rolls and some peanuts?" I ask with the most sarcastic of smiles. But with a bit of creativity, kd and I decide that our substituted meal is actually, surprisingly good.
Later, after a safe landing in yet another city on the tour, we have to say "no" to the car's tempting air-condition as it tends to dry out kd's throat. Oh well, the hotel's only about a half-hour away…
Upon arriving at the hotel, we are treated well by the courteous, respectful staff. After about thirty minutes of privacy, I knock on kd's door to get her started with business. She is aware of the two hours of phone interviews that she does per day, but I feel for her as I hand her the list of contacts that she must phone knowing full well that she is tired from the previous night's performance, in addition to the constant lack of sleep, early flights and unsatisfying meals.
After the interviews are over, we attempt to find a hearty vegetarian restaurant. Sometimes we end up travelling miles just to find a good one that will appease our taste buds. If we prove to be unlucky, kd usually chooses to take in a quick nap before soundcheck (albeit interrupted as there is almost some of construction or loud, disco-pool-music going on around our rooms).
On our way to the venue we always know how to find the stage door. It's the one with the crowd gathered outside of it. She's good about autograph seekers and usually fulfils requests until I push her though the door explaining that we are late for soundcheck. At this point the band is already on stage, tuning and adjusting their instruments while the crew have been there since noon setting up the stage. Kd hums into her mic, walking around to check every inch of the stage. "Testing, Testing .. my monitors sound like - hey Rob, can you fix that?"
Adjustments are made here and there until her voice and the music fill the empty theatre with a sound as crisp as celery and as clear as water. Sometimes the soundcheck can take up to an hour to get the sound perfect.
Once that's over the band and crew sample their way through the catered vegetarian meals while kd either goes back to the hotel to relax or straight to her dressing room to mentally and physically prepare for the show. She reappears shortly before stage call to choose her outfit for the night (continually exercising her vocal chords all the while).
"TEN MINUTES!" shouts the stage manager. Just to annoy him, kd acts as though she's not ready and will be at least another hour.
Everyone walks on stage, hidden behind dark curtains - the sound of the audience rustling about can be heard. Last minute nervous jokes and giggles amongst each other take place until the house lights dim and the band takes their place on the stage.
The cheering, clapping, yelling ,whistling and joking continues through the night for two hours, when the show is over.
Kd walks off stage sweating and out of breath when reality strikes. She has only about fifteen minutes to relax before I further cramp her solitude by dragging her off to the "aftershow" party at which the local Warner Bros rep plays host to hundreds of industry folk. As tired as she may be, kd obliges, smiles, poses, and signs more photos and autographs.
In the meantime, the crew are tearing down everything which will systematically fit into a semi-trailer truck that seems all too small (amazing the venue's local crew with their expertise). Our crew has been acknowledged and praised world-wide for the professional manner in which they work in both planned and unforeseen circumstances.
Security then escorts kd and me to an awaiting vehicle that will whisk us off to the hotel for some much-needed sleep. On, there's one last phone call I need to make though …"kd? Don't forget that your first interview is schedule for 10:00am tomorrow". I know it's the last thing she needs to hear but I have to do it.
Less than seven hours later my eyes are open though my body is still heavy from lack of sleep … We begin another day in the life of Darl and kd….
