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k.d. comes to town
k..d. lang fans with a constant craving for her talent can catch her later this month in concert with the Houston Symphony
by Olivia Flores Alvarez
Photo by Just Loomis
Fresh off a Grammy win with Tony Bennett for their duet CD A Wonderful World, k.d. lang will join the Houston Symphony in concerts on April 30 and May 1. In
Jones Hall, she will perform music from her many recordings-which include Invincible Summer, Drag, Shadowland, Ingenue, and her U.S. debut, Angel with a
Lariat-and probably some surprises. The Houston engagement will kick off a six-month nationwide tour. Her May 1 performance is a benefit evening for the
symphony and HIV/AIDS service provider Bering Omega Community Services.
I recently spoke by phone with lang, one of Canada's top exports and one of the first famously out performers in entertainment.
Olivia Flores Alvarez: Congratulations on winning the Grammy.
k.d. lang: Oh, thank you. That was a nice surprise. I was really happy.
OFA: What was it like to record with Tony Bennett?
kdl: He's the greatest. There are so many benefits to my relationship with Tony. First of all, musically, just to be led by someone who is one of the
foundations of that era of music and to be taught directly through that lineage is just an amazing, amazing gift. So musically, you can't beat it.
Then there's the aspect of having a friend who's your elder of that many years. It's a very, very precious thing. Our society doesn't really
lend itself to that so much, and I think it's really beneficial to people to have friends who are of different ages. I really have learned a lot from
Tony and I feel much the richer for it.
OFA: Any other dream duos that you would like to record with?
kdl: This is going to be hard to top, of course. The thing is that I think that what's been so magical about my relationship with everyone I've
worked with-Owen Bradley, Roy Orbison, and Tony Bennett-is that these were things that I never, ever would have predicted or foreseen. They come out of
nowhere and they weren't something that I would have generally said, "This is what I want to do," but they turned out to be really special.
OFA: Houston is the kickoff for your new tour, right?
kdl: You're my kickoff, yes.
OFA: You'll be performing with the Houston Symphony, premiering all new orchestral arrangements of your music. That's a new direction for you,
isn't it?
kdl: Yes. Hopefully, it's the beginning of a new era for me. I really feel like it's a new path for me. The Houston Symphony was the symphony that
was really, really supportive and really put a lot of momentum in terms of energy and support into the idea, so I'm really honored to be there.
I'm going to be really nervous. There's something beautiful about the first show, because it's raw and honest, and there's mistakes, you
know? It's going to be exciting.
OFA: The Houston Symphony has really expanded their programming over the last few years. They're really stretching and adding new shows like yours.
kdl: That's wonderful, and that's probably part of why they're thriving, because they're so open to new ideas, to doing more.
OFA: From the very beginning, your music hasn't been easy to describe. You defied the traditional ideas of what country music was or what pop music was,
and now you're singing with symphony orchestras. What terms do you use to describe your music?
kdl: Well, I'll give you the definition and I'll give you a metaphor. I'm a singer. That's the definition [laughs]. The metaphor is I'm
water, and water seems to find its natural path just by flowing, and I do the same thing. If I come to an obstacle, I go around it. I don't know how I do
what I do. I don't know what attracts me to something. I really just follow my natural instincts and my natural obsessions and likes.
I really just trust my instincts. And sometimes I end up doing stuff that's not so good, because it's hard to market and people are scratching their
heads and saying, "I don't know what that was." But at the same time it keeps me alive, it keeps me vibrant and excited. I can't think of
anything worse, for me personally, just because I'm kind of a nomad, than to do the same record over and over again. That would be detrimental to me and
my audience.
OFA: Speaking of your audience, you seem to have a lot of respect and trust for your audience.
kdl: I do. I have a real trust that real good music is everything and that image isn't. I'm not on a rampage about it, but I feel very strongly that
it's a tremendous disservice by providing them everything in terms of image and lifestyle, that you know what kind of tampons some star uses because the
[media] is digging in people's purses at the Oscars. I really just feel that there is too much information. I trust that people will have their own
imagination. I am not the person to tell them what to eat, I'm not the person to tell them what kind of perfume to wear or what color living room to
have. I really trust an individual will grow and be an amazing example of perfection if they're just left alone. So I do what I do and leave the rest up
to the audience.
OFA: But all that seems to come with being a celebrity. What's it like to live in a world where the media and the public think they should have access to
everything you do, just because you're famous? We saw the circus that surrounded Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck recently, and there's no way to
describe that but madness.
kdl: My answer to that is really, really simple. I have no problem telling you what I ate for breakfast. I have no problem inviting you to go through my sock
drawer. I think the difference being that when I make my art, it is honest and vulnerable, and it's me. But I'm not relying on my sock drawer to
enhance that.
I think what happens is that we've let material and peripheral existence represent us-who we are emotionally and spiritually. That's where the
problem is. The problem is that people aren't representing themselves spiritually, so we keep digging for these things materially to answer that, but it
doesn't answer that need. It just perpetuates the cycle of suffering.
So when you open yourself up spiritually and honestly, then you are getting that. You are being fed something real. It's like organic food, exactly like
food. If you eat something that is real and has all the mineral content, all the vitamin content, and proper water content, then you're satisfied. But if
you eat something that is completely manufactured and has no nutritional value, you're still hungry. It's the same with music.
OFA: But your show and your life aren't the same thing, or are they?
kdl: The gap between me off stage and me on stage is less and less, because I don't have to protect myself. When I'm on stage, there's nothing
going on except what's going on.
OFA: When you came out 12 years ago, your off-stage and on-stage worlds seemed to really collide. There was real concern that Nashville would reject you, and
your career would be over. You were Canadian, you didn't eat meat, and you were an out lesbian. People were afraid that was going to be a real backlash
against you and your music. Did that, in fact, happen?
kdl: It did happen and it didn't happen. It did happen in terms of my commercial success. I still don't get played on the radio because advertisers
are scared of me. But what didn't happen is that my spirit didn't die, my self-confidence didn't die, and I tried to handle it in the best way I
could.
OFA: For a while there, you became the poster girl for gay rights.
kdl: Yep. I knew that was going to happen, and I wanted to take that on, and I wanted to be as accessible as possible, because I knew there was no one else
to answer those questions. And sometimes it was a pain in the ass. After a while, you get a little defensive or tired or you want the focus to shift back to
your art, but I feel confident that that has happened in the long run. Evolution is a very, very slow process.
For me, working with someone like Tony Bennett is the most beneficial thing I could do for the gay community. Even though we're not talking about it like
a gay person and a straight person singing love songs, it's two friends who are on the outside very different, but spiritually and musically we're
tremendous friends. And to me that has more meaning and substance in terms of moving the gay community forward than it does if I was marching up and down
with a sign that says, "I'm queer and I'm here!"
OFA: I've heard you talk about fame before, and I'm going to paraphrase you, so forgive me if I don't get this exactly right, but you said that
you didn't want to be famous until you were dead, because you wanted to spend your life making music, not making fame.
kdl: Yeah, that sounds like me. I don't know exactly what I said either, but I understand what I meant. I think that as famous as I might get, and let me
clarify-I'm talking about fame in my own head, because it's irrelevant whatever happens outside of me in terms of my perception-as famous as I might
get, my job as a singer is still just to sing, just to create music, and not to get caught up with how many people know my name. Whatever time or energy
I'd give to making myself famous is time and energy that I'd have to take away from my music. That's not the purpose of my career. That's not
why I do this.
OFA: Getting back to your new show, how do you get ready for a tour like this? What's the process for you to create a show like this, to create your
music?
kdl: Oh, that would take a lifetime to answer [groans]. I mean, yeah, there is the logistics, the meetings, the sound checks, the bass player and the
conductor, and making an album, but really it's every breath, every enemy, every gray hair, every tear, every smile, every ex-lover. It is so all
encompassing to be an artist that I think people really fail to remember that it is a 24-hour-a-day job. When you're walking, you're being an artist,
you're working. I think a lot of people forget that.
And that's not just about being an artist. Being a human being is a 24-hour-a-day job. And that goes back to the question of why people are so interested
in Jen [Lopez]: because they're not looking at themselves. They want anything, any distraction, because they are so afraid to sit down and hear their own
thoughts. And that's what an artist does. They sit down and listen to their own brain. Of course, that's why they're all alcoholics and smoke too
much, too [both laugh].
OFA: Besides listening to your own brain, do you listen to other music?
kdl: I've stopped listening. I listen to the radio some, but I don't actually go out and buy records so much anymore. I really listen to, ah, I know
this sounds so corny, but I listen to life. I listen to my friends, I listen to the news, I listen to my dog barking. I listen to everything. It's not
just music. I listen to people walking down the street. I listen to everything, because the sources of music are so far beyond music itself.
OFA: Your concerts are a real emotional experience for your audience and, we would guess, for you. Is it as exhausting as it seems? Do you still enjoy
performing?
kdl: Well, I came to a pinnacle in my performing life when I stopped fighting the fact that I have to go on stage and sing. When I started to realize all the
work, all the record making, all the bickering between record companies and managers, all the airplanes and all the baggage and all the dirty laundry and all
the stinking hotel rooms, if it didn't make sense for the two hours that I was standing on that stage, if I wasn't in the most godly place, then I
should quit.
I wouldn't do it if it didn't make sense for me, I really wouldn't. I don't do things that I don't like to do, things that don't make
sense to me.
OFA: You're going to be part of two Olivia Cruises later this summer, two "honeymoon" cruises with hundreds of same-gender couples getting
married in a mass ceremony onboard. That seems like it's going to be a blast.
kdl: I'm a wedding singer [laughs]. I'm finally a professional wedding singer.
Actually, this is fantastic. I can't wait. I'm not a resounding "Yes to gay marriage!" person, because I see the foils in it as well-that
we want to be accepted into this culture that is crazy anyway-but I'm happy because I think people should marry whoever the hell they want to marry. Life
is short, and love is precious, and I'm really happy to get to be there. I hope everybody gets dressed up and has a good time. I'm finally a wedding
singer. Who knew?
OFA: I always think Olivia Cruises should give me a discount because I'm named Olivia, but they never have.
kdl: [Laughs] You're right, they should.
OFA: I've had people ask me if I changed my name to Olivia so that I could write for gay magazines, and I always think, "Nah, that's a little
more creative than anything I would have come up with." I was actually named Olivia at birth, before anyone knew it would become code for lesbian.
kdl: If your first name was "Olivia" and your middle name was "Lavender," then that would be a gay writer's name. Or if your last
name were "Cruise," maybe Olivia Cruises would give you a discount then.
OFA: Maybe. I ought to ask them.
kdl: Yeah, and let me know how it goes [laughs].
A frequent contributor to OutSmart, Olivia Flores Alvarez is a freelance writer specializing in the arts and entertainment.
ON STAGE
K.d. lang will perform with the Houston Symphony, under the direction of Charles Floyd, on April 30 and May 1 in Jones Hall.
For the May 1 performance, the symphony and Bering Omega Community Services, the nonprofit HIV/AIDS service provider, have partnered in a special benefit
program. Proceeds from the sales of VIP packages to the concert will support the symphony and Bering Omega. The VIP package ($250 per person) includes a
center-orchestra ticket and admission to a private, post-concert reception with lang at the Magnolia Hotel.
